The reason I've been doing absolutely nothing for so long is not because I don't think I can succeed at it, but because I don't want to succeed at it. I have no desire to get a degree at college even if I want a good career or encase I'm forever alone. I have no desire to save tons of money, I would rather spend it on my friends to make them happy then to save it to make me happy. I have no desire to be great at anything or to put myself out there, in fact I would welcome failure.
I love to fail, well that's not the right way to say that. I don't love failing, because then I feel like a worthless loser, but I don't want to succeed at anything. I love to work, I love reading, I love school, but I don't want to do any of them because I don't want the chance of succeeding. I don't want to keep moving forward in my life, I want to stay right where I am for now. I don't want the chance of losing myself, I don't want the chance of having to much change or to much stress. I also don't want to be an adult, not because I just constantly want to have fun and do nothing, but because adults are boring. Adults don't laugh as much, or enjoy life as much. They stress about everything; bills, children, food, work, school, church, etc. I don't wanna have to deal with so much stress, especially alone and I think I may end up being alone forever.
I want to be me and have fun no matter what I'm doing, I want to be free.
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