Politics 2012

I'm so sick of candidate bashing. Not only from republican and democrat parties, but their campaign speeches and vote for me ads on t.v. Honestly I think neither one is a good enough candidate for what we need right now, definitely doesn't help that all of congress sucks. Nothing is ever going to get done because to many people are so focused on party voting and doing what their party wants to do that they don't see the bigger picture.
President Obama wanted a healthcare bill passed, it was a good idea, until the Republicans decided it wasn't good enough because he was a Democrat... and as everyone knows Republicans are much better with money then Democrats... Which is true, in most cases, but in this one the Republicans didn't want Democrats to have all the power so they had to use their "power" to change it. I'm not saying the bill was amazing the way Obama had it, but the Republicans just made it worse. Romney has a better bill he wants to pass instead, honestly it's pretty good, but knowing how this works... the Democrats won't allow it just cuz he is Republican.
Last Presidental election, a group of people went around asking people who they voted for and why. Did you know the main reasons Obama won was because:
1. He's Black
2. He's a Democrat
3. He was more attractive then the other candidate.
I mean seriously? Come on people, we need to stop voting just to vote. We need to vote for the person, who we think (based on evidence) will be a better candidate. We also need to stop listening to biased radio stations, t.v. stations, and prideful people. It's about time we started doing the work and started thinking for ourselves... Otherwise this nation is going to fall and we won't be able to build it back up. Get off your lazy butts and start doing something, life isn't made to be handed over... It's meant to be worked for. Work for what you want, what you think you deserve to have, work for the future, work til the end.

Calling out for Freedom

The reason I've been doing absolutely nothing for so long is not because I don't think I can succeed at it, but because I don't want to succeed at it. I have no desire to get a degree at college even if I want a good career or encase I'm forever alone. I have no desire to save tons of money, I would rather spend it on my friends to make them happy then to save it to make me happy. I have no desire to be great at anything or to put myself out there, in fact I would welcome failure.
I love to fail, well that's not the right way to say that. I don't love failing, because then I feel like a worthless loser, but I don't want to succeed at anything. I love to work, I love reading, I love school, but I don't want to do any of them because I don't want the chance of succeeding. I don't want to keep moving forward in my life, I want to stay right where I am for now. I don't want the chance of losing myself, I don't want the chance of having to much change or to much stress. I also don't want to be an adult, not because I just constantly want to have fun and do nothing, but because adults are boring. Adults don't laugh as much, or enjoy life as much. They stress about everything; bills, children, food, work, school, church, etc. I don't wanna have to deal with so much stress, especially alone and I think I may end up being alone forever.
I want to be me and have fun no matter what I'm doing, I want to be free.

I hate men....

I don't know what's happening to me, because I've never felt this kind of physical lust towards someone before. I mean I've felt attracted to someone where I wish I could kiss them, I've felt undying love for someone to where I was willing to let him go because that's what he needed to do, I've felt a love hate towards someone to the point I was okay being used as a sex tool..... BUT I have NEVER, i repeat NEVER had this feeling.
It's not that I find him extremely manly, or amazingly gorgeous... He just has this crazy scent that  every time I smell it I literally almost jump his bones. I don't even know what to do about it, cuz I'm having a hard time not making out with him or something much more. I am so distracted around him I barely know what's going on, all I know is I have this crazy craving in my pants that won't go away. I also know it is not me being baby crazy, because I don't like babies so much and if I did I would want to make out with every boy... not just one who has this magnificent over powering man scent.

I swear, if he does not make out with me soon... I may jump his bones.... I'm having the hardest time trying to keep myself in line... BUT it doesn't help the man I'm in love with is FARRR away and I barely talk to him... not even on a phone... it sucks so much, it makes me cry. I miss him so much, but I'm constantly afraid he doesn't miss me and he doesn't feel the same way I do about it. Sometimes it hurts so much that I just want to die, I've thought about it a few times.. Suicide, but he told me I wasn't allowed to die.. Not that he is gunna care when he gets back and remembers what I'm like but that little tiny piece of hope still lingers and it's like a burden on my chest because I have no easy button, no way out. I'm stuck here because of that small piece of hope and it pisses me off.

Someone once told me "men are created equal" that's a load of BULL CRAP. It's pretty obvious they aren't. I mean some people are made pretty and some people are made smart... but not everyone gets something. In fact most of us get the short end of the stick and get ugly+stupid... So why would someone as beautiful as him want someone as horrible as me? He wouldn't, so shouldn't I just give up?