1. Numai Tu- O-zone
2. She's a Rebel- Green Day
3. Shut Up and Let Me Go- Ting Tings
4. Strict Machine- GoldFrapp
5. He Wasn't- Avril Lavigne
6. Hurricane- 30 Seconds to Mars
7. Sanctuary- Utada Hikaru
8. My Bloody Valentine- Good Charlotte
9. Opera Number 1- Vitas
10. Complicated- Avril Lavigne
Monday, May 23, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Day 24: Something you've learned in the past year
I've actually learned a lot over the past year, so here are some of the things I've learned.
1. Having a job, whether you like it or not, is important.
2. Friends feelings should always come before your own. That is if they are a good friend like Tyler and Andrew.
3. Everyone is a small piece of the world. Not worth anything, really, but still there. Thinking it revolves around you is stupid and childish, nobody purposefully wants to ruin your life. Your life is because you made it that way or because your luck sucks.
4. Bad boys are hot and fun to have a fling with, but when it comes to marriage and actually really dating someone it's never going to be the bad boy.
5. Love isn't what most people think it is. Love doesn't exist in high school. Love isn't simple or easy.
6. High Schoolers are really immature and stupid and they cause their own drama.
7. Bro's stick with Bro's, but Ho's do not stick with Ho's. To everyone it's always Bro's before Ho's.
8.People are not always who they pretend to be. Most are fake and conniving.
9. I'm way to trusting.
10. Do not do everything for others, your life is for you. Yeah it's nice to give people stuff and you can do that, but just make sure your life is in order and that your happy first before you try to help them.
1. Having a job, whether you like it or not, is important.
2. Friends feelings should always come before your own. That is if they are a good friend like Tyler and Andrew.
3. Everyone is a small piece of the world. Not worth anything, really, but still there. Thinking it revolves around you is stupid and childish, nobody purposefully wants to ruin your life. Your life is because you made it that way or because your luck sucks.
4. Bad boys are hot and fun to have a fling with, but when it comes to marriage and actually really dating someone it's never going to be the bad boy.
5. Love isn't what most people think it is. Love doesn't exist in high school. Love isn't simple or easy.
6. High Schoolers are really immature and stupid and they cause their own drama.
7. Bro's stick with Bro's, but Ho's do not stick with Ho's. To everyone it's always Bro's before Ho's.
8.People are not always who they pretend to be. Most are fake and conniving.
9. I'm way to trusting.
10. Do not do everything for others, your life is for you. Yeah it's nice to give people stuff and you can do that, but just make sure your life is in order and that your happy first before you try to help them.
Day 23: Favorite childhood memory
I don't have any specific memories in my childhood, but my childhood friend was Seth Bangeter. We would do everything together. We dipped our Popsicles in the ditch behind my house, we climbed on roofs and fences, we played night games with the neighborhood kids, we went to each others houses in our pajamas, and we even had some of the same teachers in school. He is by far my longest friend, going on now for almost 19 years. I've known that kid since the moment I could really know someone. If I'm lucky we will stay friends for the rest of our lives, because he is an awesome person.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Today post thoughts
So I've been thinking about why I feel so upset about what happened yesterday. I mean stuff like that has happened many times in my life. I think the part that bothered me was the fact one of the people I looked up to and who I thought was mature and actually understood life was Alex. To find out I was wrong, and that he wasn't the person I always pictured him to be shattered my reality. Stuff like that I would always get from Kalicia and Myles.... but rarely did I get from Alex and never to that extent. The moment he told me he didn't want me there anymore... well that was my breaking point. That was the moment I knew I didn't belong in my family. Hearing it from Alex was hard for me... but the fact was that week I had actually been trying to be part of that family, and hearing him yell that at me made me finally realize I wasn't and I will never be good enough for them.
I think I've finally reach the point of no return. I either start a new life soon or end my previous one. I only have a few months in which this can happen, so if it doesn't happen soon my journey will have to end, because I can't live like this. You can only cry and have your crappy life thrown in your face so many times before you get to the point of no return. I know I have thought this before about how my life couldn't get any worse... but honestly at this point I'm 98% sure that this life couldn't get to much crappier. This kind of pain is getting harder and harder to bare... Right now I have a crutch, but in a few months it will be removed and unless my life has hard core turn around, I'm screwed. At that point it will have to end, because I will have no realistic choices left... not even a little one.
I think I've finally reach the point of no return. I either start a new life soon or end my previous one. I only have a few months in which this can happen, so if it doesn't happen soon my journey will have to end, because I can't live like this. You can only cry and have your crappy life thrown in your face so many times before you get to the point of no return. I know I have thought this before about how my life couldn't get any worse... but honestly at this point I'm 98% sure that this life couldn't get to much crappier. This kind of pain is getting harder and harder to bare... Right now I have a crutch, but in a few months it will be removed and unless my life has hard core turn around, I'm screwed. At that point it will have to end, because I will have no realistic choices left... not even a little one.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Today
So instead of doing day 23, I decided to do something more interesting and do day 23 tomorrow. I'm going to tell you of my day today.
It started out pretty normal, I got up and got ready. I then got to babysit my nephews for 4 hours then they went home. I wrote some stuff in a story and then ate some food. It's after eating where my life got crazy again.
I was sitting on the couch typing and checking Facebook, when Kalicia finds a fake piece of bread in the pillow next to her. She freaks then puts the bread on my keyboard, I told her it wasn't mine and threw it back her. She then kept putting the bread back on my keyboard and I kept throwing it back at her. She then yelled about how she was putting it there so she could put it away later and threw the bread at my face. I yelled and said she was being retarded and how sometimes I wonder if she actually is retarded. My mom then got angry at me for being so "harsh", I explained it was the only way I could get through to her, but she was still mad.
Then my obviously retarded older brother, ALEX, threw water at me. YES WATER, with a lappy sitting right there. It did get on my lappy so I freaked out and told him to stop being so stupid and how he could have ruined my computer. I don't really remember to much of our yelling but I do remember him punching me and trying to throw me outside of my house. Then he sat on top of my head and started punching me, so I bite him out of self defense because at the point that was all I could do. SO then he punched me harder in the head. Then walked to the door and told me he wish I would leave already. I told him I wish I could, then decided I would. I yelled about how I was never coming back... crying of course. Pick up a lot of stuff then walked out.
And yes I do not plan on ever going back there ever if I can pull it off. I need a job and a car. Then I won't ever have to go back... because thinking about having to go back there and live with those people makes me feel really sick and even makes me want to cry.
It started out pretty normal, I got up and got ready. I then got to babysit my nephews for 4 hours then they went home. I wrote some stuff in a story and then ate some food. It's after eating where my life got crazy again.
I was sitting on the couch typing and checking Facebook, when Kalicia finds a fake piece of bread in the pillow next to her. She freaks then puts the bread on my keyboard, I told her it wasn't mine and threw it back her. She then kept putting the bread back on my keyboard and I kept throwing it back at her. She then yelled about how she was putting it there so she could put it away later and threw the bread at my face. I yelled and said she was being retarded and how sometimes I wonder if she actually is retarded. My mom then got angry at me for being so "harsh", I explained it was the only way I could get through to her, but she was still mad.
Then my obviously retarded older brother, ALEX, threw water at me. YES WATER, with a lappy sitting right there. It did get on my lappy so I freaked out and told him to stop being so stupid and how he could have ruined my computer. I don't really remember to much of our yelling but I do remember him punching me and trying to throw me outside of my house. Then he sat on top of my head and started punching me, so I bite him out of self defense because at the point that was all I could do. SO then he punched me harder in the head. Then walked to the door and told me he wish I would leave already. I told him I wish I could, then decided I would. I yelled about how I was never coming back... crying of course. Pick up a lot of stuff then walked out.
And yes I do not plan on ever going back there ever if I can pull it off. I need a job and a car. Then I won't ever have to go back... because thinking about having to go back there and live with those people makes me feel really sick and even makes me want to cry.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Day 22: Favorite book
The Mortal Instruments is by far my favorite series. Most books I can't get through, either because they are to boring or it has to much details in it or the characters aren't appealing to me. This book is perfect in every way. Not only is the story line and plot twists great, but the men in these books are to die for. They are amazingly hot and adorable. This book isn't super easy to read, but it's not hard either. I swear this book was made just to please people like me. Since there aren't many people like me, it's meant to please me alone. :P
Monday, May 16, 2011
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Sadly enough my favorite picture is not available to put up, but I can tell you what it's of and show you a good recent picture that I like.
The picture I love the most was one my sister Carissa took when I was younger. She had dressed me up in a short and t-shirt and sunglasses slightly to big for me, put me in a lawn chair with my right leg on top of my left leg. She then had me look at the camera and took a picture starting from my right foot and focused on my face. It is amazing and cute, i love it.
The picture up above is a funny picture of me looking at the statue mans butt. ^_^
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Day 20: A memorable dream or nightmare
I will first tell you about the nightmare I have when I'm sick, then I will tell you my most vivid and most constant dream.
When I'm sick I have a dream about a huge bowling ball that smushes me then just continues down the bowling lane, and it just keeps happening over and over again. My brother and I were talking about our dreams last year, turns out we have the same bowling dream when were sick. Super weird right?
My most vivid dream is this. It starts out that 2 families are on a cruise taking a double family vacation together. Then a crazy wind storm happens the ship overturns and the 2 families and the ship lands safely onto this island in the middle of no where. Without food or much water the 2 families start to go crazy. We start to think the sand is magic and turns into food or whatever kind of food we wanted. So we all get some mashed potatoes and gravy and sit down at this table to eat it and just before I take my first bite this guy says "I wouldn't do that if I were you." I then look down my food and it turns back into sand, but with gravy on it. I look back up at this man and realize he is different, then the other preppy girl from the other family starts to flirt with him. (to give you the short version of this long story) He ends up being a vampire and takes a small group to find some food, we get back, save the camp, and I fall in love with this dark haired man. (this dream is much longer and much more detailed and even has lots of dialogue... It's definitely the most exact and specific dream I've ever had)
OH~! Another thing I forgot to tell you. I'm psychic, well dream psychic that is. I have dreams all the time about days in my future. I once had a dream in 6th grade about Kelley and being stuck at his house alone with him.... I didn't meet Kelley til 4 years later. Crazy stuff.
When I'm sick I have a dream about a huge bowling ball that smushes me then just continues down the bowling lane, and it just keeps happening over and over again. My brother and I were talking about our dreams last year, turns out we have the same bowling dream when were sick. Super weird right?
My most vivid dream is this. It starts out that 2 families are on a cruise taking a double family vacation together. Then a crazy wind storm happens the ship overturns and the 2 families and the ship lands safely onto this island in the middle of no where. Without food or much water the 2 families start to go crazy. We start to think the sand is magic and turns into food or whatever kind of food we wanted. So we all get some mashed potatoes and gravy and sit down at this table to eat it and just before I take my first bite this guy says "I wouldn't do that if I were you." I then look down my food and it turns back into sand, but with gravy on it. I look back up at this man and realize he is different, then the other preppy girl from the other family starts to flirt with him. (to give you the short version of this long story) He ends up being a vampire and takes a small group to find some food, we get back, save the camp, and I fall in love with this dark haired man. (this dream is much longer and much more detailed and even has lots of dialogue... It's definitely the most exact and specific dream I've ever had)
OH~! Another thing I forgot to tell you. I'm psychic, well dream psychic that is. I have dreams all the time about days in my future. I once had a dream in 6th grade about Kelley and being stuck at his house alone with him.... I didn't meet Kelley til 4 years later. Crazy stuff.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Day 19: Something you miss
There is such a long list of things I miss that I think I will just bullet point this or something. So things I currently miss:
- Having friends/Hanging out with friends
- Tyler (he is on his mission)
- School
- Money
- A Job
- Driving
- My cousins
- Camping
- Dating
- FF7
- Swimming
- My Innocence
- Drawing
- Heath Ledger
- Life
and more
- Having friends/Hanging out with friends
- Tyler (he is on his mission)
- School
- Money
- A Job
- Driving
- My cousins
- Camping
- Dating
- FF7
- Swimming
- My Innocence
- Drawing
- Heath Ledger
- Life
and more
Friday, May 13, 2011
Day 18: Favorite restaurant
This a pretty easy question for me, but I'm going to be very specific on the type of restaurant I want for each type of food that I would eat.
Italian: Gloria's, Little Italy
Mexican: Cafe Rio
Japanese: Sakura
Pizza: Pizza Factory
Cheeseburger: 5 Guys Burgers and Fries
Sandwich: Chubby's (Philly Cheese Steak)
Italian: Gloria's, Little Italy
Mexican: Cafe Rio
Japanese: Sakura
Pizza: Pizza Factory
Cheeseburger: 5 Guys Burgers and Fries
Sandwich: Chubby's (Philly Cheese Steak)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day 16: Dream house
I've actually thought about this one a lot before today. I want a gothic cathedral house, not to be mistaken with a renaissance cathedrals which are much more dark and dreary, for the outside. On the inside I want it to be more modern in both furniture and design but still have the affect of the rose windows. I would also like to have a garden in the center of this cathedralish place. One that is extravagant and beautiful.
This is obviously just dreaming because I would have to be over a billionaire to create such a building, but I can still keep feeding myself false hopes about such a place.
This is obviously just dreaming because I would have to be over a billionaire to create such a building, but I can still keep feeding myself false hopes about such a place.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Day 15: Favorite quote
So many quotes to choose from, but I think I'm gunna pick this one:
" Beauty is all well at first site; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?"
- William Shakespeare
I find this quote to be very true. Personality is 50% or more of what a guy/girl is attracted to, without it your relationship will just be physical and that only lasts so long.
- William Shakespeare
I find this quote to be very true. Personality is 50% or more of what a guy/girl is attracted to, without it your relationship will just be physical and that only lasts so long.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
This was during yearbook signing last year. I think I look quite different. For one I do my hair and make up differently. I also have matured since last year and my clothing style is slightly different. All and all I'm still Shantelle, but better and hopefully I will keep getting better.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Day 13: Goals
1. Get a job
2. Go to college
3. Mature more
4. Get an Apartment
5. Get a car
6. Get a career
7. Get a house
8. Get a boyfriend
9. Grow some more (mentally)
10. Get married
11. Get a pet
12. Become prettier
13. Rock at life
Those are my goals, they aren't exactly in order, but that's the gist of what my goals are.
2. Go to college
3. Mature more
4. Get an Apartment
5. Get a car
6. Get a career
7. Get a house
8. Get a boyfriend
9. Grow some more (mentally)
10. Get married
11. Get a pet
12. Become prettier
13. Rock at life
Those are my goals, they aren't exactly in order, but that's the gist of what my goals are.
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
I never leave the house without clothes and make-up. I don't want to look the best I can for other people I want to look the best I can for me. I like to feel comfortable with the way I look so I dress and "decorate" my face so that's more appealing.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Day 11: Favorite tv shows.
I love The Office because it's just freaking amazing, I love every character but Phyllis in their own way, it's so funny I could be in the worst mood ever watching it and by the end I'm happy.
I love Scrubs because it's funny and interesting. My favorite characters are J.D., Turk, Cox, Elliot, and sometimes Jordain. My ultimate favorite character is Kelso, by the last season he definitely becomes my all time favorite.
I love Psych because of Shawn, Gus, and Carlton. It's also a pretty good detective show.
How I Met Your Mother is just funny. I do love how they got Neil Patrick Harrison, he is an amazing actor and just funny.
I do love Aqua Teen Hunger Force, just because it is Aqua Teen Hunger Force. So amazing and funny.
Firefly is also another amazing series. I love every character in their own way.
I also love Design Star because it's something that interests me as a career. Possibly someday I could even be on that show.
I started to love Ugly Betty 2 seasons in because the characters are very likable even if the storyline is kind of messed up, but it's suppose to be (spanish-english-soap opera)
There are more but I don't want this post to long and this shows some of my favorites.
I love Scrubs because it's funny and interesting. My favorite characters are J.D., Turk, Cox, Elliot, and sometimes Jordain. My ultimate favorite character is Kelso, by the last season he definitely becomes my all time favorite.
I love Psych because of Shawn, Gus, and Carlton. It's also a pretty good detective show.
How I Met Your Mother is just funny. I do love how they got Neil Patrick Harrison, he is an amazing actor and just funny.
I do love Aqua Teen Hunger Force, just because it is Aqua Teen Hunger Force. So amazing and funny.
Firefly is also another amazing series. I love every character in their own way.
I also love Design Star because it's something that interests me as a career. Possibly someday I could even be on that show.
I started to love Ugly Betty 2 seasons in because the characters are very likable even if the storyline is kind of messed up, but it's suppose to be (spanish-english-soap opera)
There are more but I don't want this post to long and this shows some of my favorites.
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
I'm afraid of spiders and wasps, spiders because they are super creepy and are always waiting for you to sleep so they can bite you. I hate wasps because they are always pissed off and ready to sting people and they can fly wherever they want, you can't get away from them.
I'm also afraid of sharks if I'm in the water, and the Ferris Wheel. I hate the Ferris Wheel, it's a horrible invention in which could break at any possible second. Not only that but it slowly goes around reminding you how fragile it is.
I'm also afraid of sharks if I'm in the water, and the Ferris Wheel. I hate the Ferris Wheel, it's a horrible invention in which could break at any possible second. Not only that but it slowly goes around reminding you how fragile it is.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
For my 11th or 12th birthday my mom, my sister, and I went to visit my brother and his family in Florida. My ears were plugged the entire visit and for the first 5 hours there I literally could here nothing, so I pretended I could and nodded and smiled at people. While there we went to a beach, while swimming it suddenly fish started flying out of the water everywhere. We talked to the lifeguard and saw that there was a Hammer-head shark in the water.
While we were there we celebrating my birthday, watched my nieces dance, and hung out with the fam. The land was very flat and very pretty, and the ocean was very pretty. I do suggest going there. ^_^
While we were there we celebrating my birthday, watched my nieces dance, and hung out with the fam. The land was very flat and very pretty, and the ocean was very pretty. I do suggest going there. ^_^
Monday, May 2, 2011
Day 7: Favorite movies
I love so many movies it's hard to choose my favorites. I do know that I love Cars, Sweeney Todd, Breakfast Club, Sherlock Holmes, Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, Beauty and The Beast (disney version) and more. Pretty much I love every movie with Heath Ledger, Owen Wilson, Johnny Depp, and Robert Downey Jr.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
My Best Friend Aeon took this picture of our friend Andrew.... We laugh every time we see this picture and it's not just a giggle, I mean full on laugh for 20 minutes every time. It's amazing! I LOVE IT! Plus that day was fantastic, hanging with my 2 best friends EVER. I love them and couldn't see a life without them.
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