I have found no purpose in living. For the last 5 years I have been searching for some purpose, some reason I'm here and I cannot seem to find one. I'm not excellent at anything, I'm not an optimist, and I would make a horrible mother. I cannot go to school for I cannot afford it. I'm not pretty and I have horrible qualities. The only reason I am alive today is because my friends have forbid me to die and I have a hard time telling people no. I wish i could say "SCREW YOU, Imma do it anyway," but I'm a weak human and so I live... being a waste of space.
I do not believe happiness exists, I do not believe in soul mates or love, I do not believe there is a God, I do not believe there is an actual purpose as to us living, I do not believe death should be feared but welcome, I do not believe there is a purpose for life at all. Our existence is and always will be until I die, because when I do I can finally just forget about everything and be non-existent just like I've always wanted.
I think because of this I'm going to do everything on my "do-not-do" list that I've been raised to believe since I was a young child.
1. get multiple piercings
2. drink
3. do drugs
4. have sex
5. swear
6. steal
7. lie
8. treat people rudely
9. speed
10. smoke
11. watch porn
12. be in porn
13. kill
14. wear immodest clothing
15. gamble
I mean I don't plan on doing some of these, but I think I'm going to try most of them... because why shouldn't I? (killing is the one I definitely won't do)
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